Nutty about games!

After being an avid gamer since I was around 8 years old, I am finally bored of gaming. Nerd rant alert!

I have no interest in any of the many games sitting on our shelves, no games that are out at the moment appeal, and no future games excite me. Nothing. Not the imminent arrival of Fable 2 and Fallout 3. Nor the announcement of Diablo 3 and a new Star Wars MMO based on Knights of the Old Republic. Not even Warhammer Online (which I had been playing rather a lot of), or Wrath of the Lich King for wow which is due out in a couple of weeks.

I can’t be arsed any more. Games aren’t what they used to be.

I don’t think I am alone in this - just the other day my sister messaged me as she just couldn’t find a game worth playing. Modern games suck.

Nothing can compare to the decade or so that produced masterpieces such as Unreal, Diablo 2, Deus Ex, Planescape Torment, Baldurs Gate 2, the Thief series, and many more. More recently, Divine Divinity and Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic were absolute corkers.  How can I forget true oldies such as Duke Nukem and Doom too, just awesome fun, and such replayability!

Innovation and originality is seriously lacking in games these days, and the sterility of the Xbox port doesn’t help matters. I was seriously pissed off and disappointed with the Deus Ex followup - what a joke that was. The storyline sucked, it was very linear, bugged to death, and you felt like you were playing in a cardboard box (thanks to the game being created for the Xbox). Thief 3 wasn’t much better. I did enjoy Mass Effect and Bioshock but I never did complete the latter.

I always completed my old faves. Many times over in some cases. I completed Deus Ex some 15+ times before it got a little tedious, and I have completed Thief 3 at least 10 times on Expert mode. Fabulous game! But then, I have just played it too many times now, I need something completely new.

I think partly it may be because games simply are too realistic, which leaves no scope for the imagination. I am a game nerd and freely admit it. Back when I was playing on the Acorn Electron and Spectrum, I would daydream about games of the future being more realistic. I never imagined it would happen for real. After we got our first P100 PC and discovered the joys of Doom and Heretic, I asked my Dad if one day processors would get faster and he said no, they could never possibly cool anything near a gigabyte. Now look what has happened!

When I played Elite, I would daydream about actually being in the game for real. The same with Unreal and Thief. They kickstarted my (often wild and frequently completely bizarre) imagination. Not one modern game has managed that. I know I am older now and have more to think about and I am more often than not simply too tired or harrassed to daydream, but my imagination remains unchanged!

Another gripe is that many of them look the same. The graphics are similar, because they are made for the same platform ( we all know which that is, grr), there are no large landscapes like in Deus Ex and true non-linear games are no longer in existence. I imagine Diablo 3 will be like living in a box/dungeon/sewer, with crappy console-ported controls, a linear storyline without much deviation, and it will look exactly the same as the dozens of other games that come out at the same time.

Finally, maybe - just maybe - it’s the fact that I can no longer sit gaming all night long whilst chain smoking and drinking huge amounts of alcohol! I have kids to care for and a man who won’t get up to them, I don’t smoke any more because I’m scared of cancer and smelling like an old dog-end, and I am drunk off 2 small glasses of wine these days! Hmm…

Anyway, rant over. Honest. I’m tired now and it’s not 9pm yet!

But PLEASE make some decent games, dammit!

Well I’m not completely missing in action - although if Battlefield 2142 was real you could say I was! I’m doing a lot of writing at the moment. Almost as much reading. I’ve actually cut out all gaming to do this; I thought I could do with a break anyway.  Besides, I’ve been put off my certain gaming addicts I will not name!

I’ve created a new page which will have a few stories and poems posted on it in a few weeks; I’ve also created a blog for any stories intended for adults, as it is right that they should be kept seperate. I will only give the link to trusted friends.

Anyway, will let you know how I get on.

As it is nearing the 10th anniversary of the death of my gaming Grandma, Dorothy ‘Dot’ Beesley, I have decided a little retrogaming is in order in her memory.

Grandma loved her games, and was a big fan of the ZX Spectrum from the late 80s right up until her death. She even got the Spectrum before us, and once I had seen the games she could play I was hooked!

We never ran out of games because Grandma would copy them for us, and we would never get stuck on a game for long with her countless gaming tips, and ‘pokes’ (cheats) when it all got too difficult!

I feel sad that she could not stay with us for longer as I am sure she would have loved the games of today, and also been an avid fan of the internet, especially enjoying sites like YouTube. I think she would have played an MMORPG with me for sure! Who knows, maybe Battlefield 2142 would have been her cup of tea!

Anyway, more about the games.

 Dizzy Series


Dizzy was one of my fave games ever, and I never managed to finish the early ones - but I believe Grandma finished them all! I remember her talking a lot about Treasure Island Dizzy and I believe she found every last coin too. So, first order of the day is a proper go at a number of episodes from the Dizzy series - although these days I am glad there is a save function as I don’t have the patience to complete them without it!

Slightly Magic


I loved this game but every time I got near to the end I would die horribly. I used to cry and scream at the damn annoying thing! It was a very short game but you had one life, and if you made a single mistake that was it, game over. Cue Grandma to the rescue! Although I wanted to complete this one legitimately it wasn’t to be, so Grandma found me a poke and I got to see the ending. Hooray Grandma!

Bubble Bobble and Bubble Dizzy


I have to admit that after 20 years or so I can no longer remember which of these Grandma played or liked the best, but I suspect it was both. I never got into it either of them, but I am going to have a go anyway.

Chuckie Egg


Oh, what a game, I loved it! I never did finish it but I got pretty close; not bad for a kid sharing with an obsessed Dad and younger sister!

Werewolves of London


Looking back at this game I see it wasn’t actually all that exciting. I only think I enjoyed it because you could eat people! I think they should make a modern game with a werewolf going round biting people’s head off - it would be awesome!

There are more that she used to play such as Repton and Saracen, but I will stick to these few. I don’t know how long my limited attention span can cope with such classics…

Not all bad, but not the best of days so far…

Firstly I have to point out that this is the second time I have written this post. For the first time ever I did not select all then copy the text before I hit save as I always do when writing anything, and this is the first time ever that Wordpress did not save my post despite me hitting ‘Save and Continue Editing’. Nor did it save my page automatically. This really sucks. Really it does. Instead I got a blank page and the post I had previously spent half an hour writing had vanished. Honest.

Anyway, I digress. This morning I awoke at a decent hour (i.e. after 7am) to find a lovely card and some very expensive alcoholic choccies waiting for me. I am supposed to be dieting but I have a real penchant for chocolate - none is safe from me in this house - so it was a nice pressie nonetheless.

I then proceeded to make breakfast and do some washing up, and started to blitz the lounge at about 10am before the shopping was due to arrive at around 11am, whilst Steve was doing a spot of gaming. Tesco arrived a little early and I left the boys in the computer room with Steve while I created a huge mountain of bags into the lounge, ready to take through to the kitchen at the back.

Thinking I may get some help carting said bags into the kitchen and perhaps even some help putting it away - it is Mother’s Day after all - I began the task alone and soon found myself surrounded by little boys screaming for ’snacks’ and fighting, emptying food all over the floor; something they always do when the shopping arrives. I looked up to see Steve vanishing upstairs offering to put my phone on charge - it is now after 3pm and he still hasn’t come back down again.

It took me just over an hour to put all the shopping away, then I gave the boys a snack and finished tidying the lounge. I made soup for lunch, but the boys decide that it is far too much fun to keep the soup in a bowl, and instead spread it all over the table, floor and themselves.

I cleaned this all up but was dismayed to hear Nicholas’s shouts of “Gabe’s got poo everywhere” and find that is indeed the case. Gabriel decided that he would yet again delve into his nappy and pull out the contents, and had placed a few ‘malteasers’ in his weeble campervan, and squished the rest into the carpet with his feet. Nicholas also had poo on his jeans and feet. Such is my day so far.

My Mum has had a better day, thankfully; cards from us and the boys, and flowers with a vase that we sent via Interflora. As an extra bit of luck she also received another lovely bunch of flowers, again with a card from us, possibly by mistake but we are not complaining! Here is a piccy of them:

I don’t usually pass on Mother’s Day texts, but one I received was particularly helpful when having a bad day and feeling very neglected:

Motherhood’s a tough 24-hour job. No pay, no days off, often most unappreciated and yet resignation is impossible! So send this to anyone who’s a TERRIFIC Mum and let her know she’s wonderful.

Loving this song right now too - today is a Keane day.

Now to make dinner…

I did plan on doing around 2000 words a night (over the 1667 words per day minimum), and last night I managed 2167, which I am quite pleased about. I understand that others are doing much more but bear in mind I am writing a maximum of 2 and a half hours a day. My plan is to do two hours a day, from 8 until 10pm. Last night I did about am hour and a half before burning out and needing my bed. Hopefully I can keep this up so that the quantity will be there.

Quality wise, I am distinctly lacking at the moment. Last nights writing was basically a little ranting about ‘I don’t know what to write about’, then a little story about a bug that has no idea what he is doing, followed by a spewed version of ideas for the whole book. Not exactly ‘proper’ story writing. Now, the general rule of Nano is never to delete or edit anything you write, so I won’t be touching it. Instead I will colour the sections I definitely do not want to keep in red, and get rid of them afterwards.

For those who have never done Nano before - this is not cheating. A good method for one with writers block, for example, is just to write. Anything. You soon find that the story grows as your muse slowly comes out of hibernation. It took a couple of hundred words for mine to emerge, and then I was off like a shot. In the process of typing up my ideas, my book also changed from fantasy to science fiction. Having never written sci fi before this should be rather a challenge!

I have also found that by removing my temptation for browsing the net (by not having my PC on in the day) I am getting a lot more done. Time and again I have protested that I would only nip back to my machine now and again to check for msn messages, emails, etc, and it did not affect my day at all. Surprising then how much extra time I seem to have gained, alongside renewed energy for other things. Perhaps spending my first evening relaxing on my own letting my imagination run wild and having a fairly early night, rather than surfing the net and gaming until late, also helped.

I managed to sort some clothes out for a charity collection tomorrow, organise and photo clothes I am going to put on ebay, and gather baby clothes for a family members’ impending arrival; I tidied the lounge up (a task which is now completely undone thanks to my active kids, but never mind); made a casserole which took quite some time; cleaned the hob with the assistance of cheap biological washing powder and a hairdryer (don’t ask); and did random housework tasks. Even managed to put the washing out, which reminds me, must go get it in now.

Isn’t my life just thrilling!

Anyway, I have waffled enough. Am actually quite looking forward to this tonight, although I am again unsure where to start.

Ah well, on with the show!

Yes, I’m fretting again. Although not about Nanowrimo. Well, sort of.

I’m in a panic because I know I am not going to be able to finish the Neverwinter Nights 2 expansion ‘Mask of the Betrayer‘ before Nano starts! Not unless I drop all notion of figuring out a plot and characters for my novel before the Nano start date anyway. I’m not quite sure why I started the expansion having only just got around to finishing vanilla NwN2 after the third time through (I have said it before, but my attention span can be bad unless I find something very interesting or really immerse myself in the storyline). I think it was partly due to my upset at the ending of NwN2 and my hope of finding out what happened to all my comrades, but all I have learned is that the expansion is as brilliant and addictive as the original game - which is a bummer when you are about to write a novel and have no plot to speak of!

I’ve stuck to the advice ‘plan one week before Nano’ like glue, and my time is up tomorrow. Meaning tonight may in fact be my last night of gaming for a whole five weeks! Never in history - alright, since I was around eight years old and Dad purchased our lovely Acorn Electron - have I refrained from playing a game for such a long period! 

How will I cope? Do gaming withdrawal symptoms exist? Am I really going to be able to concentrate soley on my Nano storyline for the next five weeks or so?

I know what you are going to say - get a life! Well, gaming is a lifestyle. I have grown up with games, watched the technology develop, and have seen them evolve into something I could never have imagined possible. I still remember the time I would dream of games being ‘realistic’; literally, at night I would lie in bed and visualise myself living in a game of the future. Playing Unreal for the very first time was a dream come true, it was everything I imagined and more. To this day I am still in awe of modern games.

Would I like to do what many Brits do and waste money going ‘out on the lash’ on a Friday and Saturday night, dressed in a ridiculously short skirt, smothered in makeup and stinking of cheap perfume, surrounded by kebab-reeking letches who accuse you of being a lesbian or insult your appearance when you turn them down? Or crouched in a bunker in the middle of a firefight, explosions sounding all around me, waiting to snipe the enemy when they try to capture my point; going on an epic journey to cure the world of some evil, smiting enemies and hurling fireballs at my foes; navigating the depths of the universe in a spaceship entirely at my command - all from the safety of my own home? I’ll settle for the latter.

Don’t get me wrong - I do go out. I do have some form of social life even if, having had two children in a rather short period, it is at an amoebic stage. In future I will go out more (as long as we can afford the babysitter), but I will make sure that my repertoire of friends consists mainly of avid gamers, those who play games quite often, people who occasionally game, and those who have gamed, in that order.

Okay, so I jest - but it sure would be nice to meet more gamers genuinely interested in friendship once in a while! Also, I have trouble socialising with those of my own age, especially women. I do think I am meeting the wrong people, because I find that I have almost nothing in common with the majority of my acquaintances. They are generally people who, when faced with an adult female who likes nothing more than to climb to the top of a huge climbing frame on a visit to Monkey World and make monkey sounds (pics will be here as soon as my Dad pulls his finger out and sends them), would immediately summon the ‘men in white coats’ to remove me to a padded cell.

Perhaps it is simply time I grew up and started to enjoy talking about the latest anti-wrinkle product, mulling over which curtain patterns go with teracotta furniture, and discussing the finer points of cake decorating?

Anyway, I don’t care if you think I am a gaming geek. I wear the title with pride, and hope to still be ‘geeking it up’ when I am old and grey.

Now, on with the fun…